The Precious, Fleeting Moments with Our Parents

Osasikemwen Ighile
3 min readJul 6, 2024

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In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it’s easy to take for granted the precious moments we have with our loved ones, particularly our parents. Many of us fall into the trap of assuming they’ll always be there, calculating in our minds that we have 17 more years, 20 more years with them. We procrastinate, putting off calls, visits, and expressions of love because we believe there’s always tomorrow.

However, the reality is starkly different. Our parents are not here for as long as we often think, especially for those of us who have moved out and no longer live in the same city or even the same country. Time is a finite resource, and the moments we share with our parents are fleeting.

Take my situation, for example. I live in Lagos, while my parents are in Benin City. Due to work commitments, I only get to see them maybe twice or three times a year. If I were to think that I have 20 more years with my parents, considering their age, it’s a misleading comfort. Realistically, seeing them three times a year for 20 years equates to only 60 more visits, not the expansive 20 years it might seem.

This perspective shift underscores the importance of making the most of the time we have with our parents. For those of us who have good relationships with them, it’s crucial to prioritize these connections. Every call, every visit, every “I love you” counts. Even if your parents aren’t used to expressing love verbally, saying those words can make a significant impact. For me, my dad always tells me he loves me after every call, and though my mom wasn’t initially expressive, she’s now started to say it too.

I make it a point to plan my visits during any available leave, ensuring I spend quality time with them. It’s essential to understand that our parents did the best they could with what they knew and had. Forgiving them for past mistakes, extending grace, and making peace with them can be profoundly healing — trust me, as someone who has gone through extremely rough patches with both parents, I know.

Building a friendship with our parents in their later years can be incredibly rewarding. They may not always say it, but they want to be a part of our lives. I’ve seen this firsthand with my dad, who listens attentively to every detail I share. He’s become my gist partner, and I cherish these conversations deeply.

As they age, the realization that our time together is limited becomes more evident. It’s a wake-up call to mend any rifts, to forgive, and to forge stronger bonds. My parents, in their unique ways, have always cared deeply for me, even if they didn’t always show it in ways I understood. Understanding them, learning their likes and dislikes, and appreciating them for who they are has transformed my relationship with them.

Yet, it’s important to acknowledge that not everyone has had positive experiences with their parents. If you’ve experienced abuse or significant hurt, your feelings are completely valid. Healing from such wounds might require distance and time. This message isn’t intended to invalidate those experiences but rather to remind those who have good relationships yet use busyness as an excuse that time is slipping away.

Life is unpredictable, and our parents won’t be here forever. Make each interaction count, and build memories that will last a lifetime.

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Osasikemwen Ighile
Osasikemwen Ighile

Written by Osasikemwen Ighile

In the midst of life’s chaos, I find solace in the quiet moments of introspection and reflection.

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