Sometimes the Shoe Doesn’t Fit, and You Can’t Be Angry with the Shoe, It’s Just Not for You
We’ve all been there. That moment when you slip on a shoe that looks perfect — maybe it’s the right colour, the right design, and even something you’ve been eyeing for a while. You put it on with excitement, only to find out that it pinches, rubs, or just feels wrong. It doesn’t fit the way you hoped, and suddenly, you’re frustrated. But can you really be mad at the shoe? The reality is, it’s not that the shoe is bad — it’s simply not for you.
This metaphor hits close to home when we think about life. Whether it’s relationships, jobs, or opportunities, sometimes things that seem perfect from the outside just don’t fit who we are. It’s tempting to blame ourselves or the situation, to wonder what went wrong or what we could’ve done differently. But the truth is, not every “shoe” is made for us. And that’s okay.
There’s a kind of peace that comes with accepting that not everything in life will align with us, no matter how much we want it to. Sometimes, the shoe is just too tight. Sometimes, we’ve outgrown it. And other times, we’re trying to force ourselves into something we were never meant to wear in the first place.
I used to struggle with this idea, especially in relationships/friendships. I’d make a new connection, and everything would seem great — on paper, we were a match. But as time went on, the discomfort would start to show, like a pair of shoes that start to hurt after a few hours. And I would get so upset. I’d blame myself, thinking that maybe I just needed to “break in” the relationship or adjust who I was to make it work. But the truth was simpler: the shoe didn’t fit, and it wasn’t supposed to.
You see, trying to force things is like trying to walk miles in shoes that hurt. Eventually, you’ll get blisters. You’ll feel worn out, frustrated, and disappointed. But when you realize that the shoe wasn’t made for you, there’s a freedom that comes with that understanding. It’s not about forcing it to work, it’s about recognizing that you deserve something that fits you perfectly, without pain, without forcing.
We need to trust that when something doesn’t fit, it’s not a sign of failure or rejection. It’s simply redirection. Maybe that shoe wasn’t right because something better is waiting for you — a shoe that feels like it was made for your feet, a situation that complements who you are effortlessly.
I’ve come to see that life is full of different paths, and not all of them are meant for us. Sometimes, the shoes we try on are just there to show us what doesn’t fit, what isn’t meant for us, so we can be more intentional about finding what truly is. And rather than being angry at the shoe, or the situation, or ourselves, we can simply step back and appreciate the clarity.
What’s meant for you will never feel forced. It will fit like a glove — or in this case, a perfect pair of shoes. You won’t have to break yourself to make it work, and it won’t come with the kind of discomfort that makes you doubt whether you belong. It will feel right because it is right.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated because something didn’t work out, remember: it’s not about the shoe being wrong or you being wrong. It’s just not your fit. And that’s perfectly fine. Let go, trust the process, and know that the perfect fit for you is out there — waiting for the moment when you’ll slip it on, and everything will fall into place, painlessly and beautifully.