Are You Making Thoughtful Choices or Just Acting on Impulse?
I used to be someone who acted on impulse, and it wasn’t just a quirk — it was how I lived. If something went wrong, if a decision needed to be made, or if a situation felt uncomfortable, I was the first to react. Whether it was a problem at work, a disagreement with someone close to me, or even a simple desire to buy something I didn’t need, my instinct was to act fast, as if immediate action was the solution to everything. I thought being decisive meant reacting quickly, and I wore that ability like a badge of honour. But the truth is, it often left me feeling uncertain and regretful, questioning if I’d really made the best choice or wondering if I’d overlooked something important in my rush to fix things.
One of the biggest challenges I faced was my tendency to desperately try to salvage situations that, in hindsight, weren’t worth saving. I’d be so eager to make things right, to patch up issues, or to hold on to something that was slipping away, that I wouldn’t give myself the time to really think it through. I’d jump into action — maybe forgiving someone too quickly or rushing to resolve an issue — without considering whether it was even something I wanted to save or whether it was better to let go. In my haste to fix things, I rarely paused to ask myself the hard questions: “Is this truly what I want? Is this worth the effort? Or am I just trying to avoid the discomfort of letting go?”
Over time, I’ve been unlearning this impulse-driven approach to life. It hasn’t been easy; old habits die hard, and the urge to react quickly is still there. But I’ve started to realize that not every situation requires immediate action. Sometimes, the best thing I can do is nothing — at least, not right away. Now, when something happens that stirs up strong emotions or demands a decision, I make an effort to step back. Instead of jumping into action, I sit with my feelings. I let myself feel the frustration, the confusion, the discomfort, without immediately trying to solve it. This space gives me the clarity I need to decide what I truly want and what’s best for me.
This shift in how I handle things has made a noticeable difference in my life. Take my approach to spending, for example. I used to be so impulsive when it came to buying things. If I saw something I wanted, I’d purchase it without a second thought, after all, I have the money to comfortably pay for it, only to later realize I didn’t need it or didn’t really want it as much as I thought. Now, I pause. I ask myself if I really need it, if it’s something that will still matter to me tomorrow, or next week. Often, the answer is no, and I walk away feeling more in control and less burdened by unnecessary stuff.
This change hasn’t gone unnoticed. It’s interesting because while some people appreciate this new approach, others find it unsettling. They might say things like, “You don’t care anymore,” or, “Why aren’t you saying anything?” because they’re used to the old me — the one who always had something to say, always ready to react. I express that I need some time to process and articulate my thoughts. I tell them that I really do care; but I need to be sure that when I do respond, it’s thoughtful and true to how I really feel.
This shift has brought a sense of peace and confidence that I didn’t have before. I’m making decisions that feel right, that I don’t look back on with regret. When I give myself the time to process my feelings, to think things through, I’m able to make decisions that align with my true desires and values, rather than reacting out of fear, stress, or the need to control.
Another significant shift has been in how I approach relationships. I used to open up quickly, letting people into my life without taking the time to truly get to know them. I was eager to build connections, often rushing to establish closeness before understanding if it was something I genuinely wanted or needed. But now, I take my time. I’ve learned that not everyone needs to be let in right away, and that it’s okay to be selective about who I allow into my inner circle. Some people have interpreted it as me being distant or uninterested because I’m not in a rush to share everything about myself. But the truth is, I just don’t see the need to rush.
Why are we running? Is there some trophy or medal to be won? No. It’s perfectly okay to take my time, to let relationships unfold naturally, and to ensure that they’re built on a solid foundation.
I think this is something more people could benefit from. We live in a world that often pushes us to act quickly, to make decisions on the fly, to solve problems as soon as they arise. But what if we all took a little more time to sit with our thoughts, to really process our emotions before we acted? What if, instead of rushing to fix everything, we allowed ourselves the grace to pause, to reflect, and to decide from a place of calm and clarity?